As the cost of living continues to rise, many families are feeling the squeeze at grocery stores and gas pumps. A Steinbach area consultant says how parents can talk about these rising costs can have a lasting impact on their children.
Michelle Peters shares practical strategies for discussing financial stress at home without creating fear or anxiety at Beyond the Valley Counseling.
Modeling relaxation in stressful moments
Peters says one of the most important things parents can do is think about their reactions when faced with high prices.
“Children take their cues from us,” he explains. “So a phrase I like to use is that we have to give them our rest. So if we’re relaxed, that’s what they’ll choose. If we’re worried, that’s what they’ll choose.”
She notes that everyday situations like grocery shopping can quickly become teachable moments. Instead of reacting with alarm or disappointment when rates are higher than expected, Peters encourages parents to pause and choose their words carefully.
“It’s easy to just have a gut reaction of, ‘Oh my God,'” he says. “This kind of behavior will cause anxiety in children.”
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Teaching children about choices, not fear
Instead of using phrases like, “We can’t afford it,” Peters reframes the conversation in a way that gives children a sense of control and understanding.
For young children, it can be as simple as explaining that certain purchases “aren’t the best choices we can make with our money right now.” She also suggests involving children in small decisions at the store.
“Well, this week we can have cereal or we can have chips as a treat, or whatever. And which would you prefer?” He provides an example.
This approach helps children learn the difference between wants and needs, while giving them a sense of belonging.
“By giving them the agency to choose from, it also teaches them … what we need to put in our grocery cart,” Peters adds.
He says these conversations can naturally lead to great lessons about savings and trade-offs, such as choosing between treatment now or saving money for a future family activity.
Avoid confusion about money
Peters also points out that children often misunderstand financial situations when they don’t have the context.
She shares a personal childhood memory of being told there was no money to go out for fast food, only to later see her parents’ paycheck with a huge bill.
“As children, what on earth were we?” He remembers. “We didn’t have that concept … he probably paid the hydro bill with $100.”
These moments, she says, highlight the importance of delivering a clear and consistent message when talking to kids about finances.
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Handling reactions at the gas pump
With fuel prices fluctuating, Peters says the same principle applies when filling up the tank.
“It’s really about knowing and then just taking that breath into the center of yourself,” she says.
One strategy he personally uses is to set expectations ahead of time.
“When I need to go and fill up, I just mentally go, OK, it’s probably going to jump,” he explains. “And then I’m like, ‘Oh, okay, that’s a little too sweet.’
Parents can involve children in problem solving by discussing ways to cut costs, such as combining chores or carpooling.
With financial stress on top
Beyond conversations with kids, Peters says adults should also consider how they talk to themselves about money.
“A big part of it is just knowledge,” he says. “Having an understanding of what’s actually coming into your bank account and what’s actually going out.”
He admits that many people avoid reviewing their taxes because it feels tedious, but says that procrastination often increases anxiety.
“The best way to reduce that anxiety is to sit down and check your bank accounts regularly,” he says.
Creating a budget and tracking expenses can help reduce impulse buying and provide a clearer picture of where adjustments can be made.
“If you have an expense category, it actually cuts down on purchases,” notes Peters.
Creative acquisition and family inclusion
In some cases, Peters says, families may need to find additional sources of income or new ways to manage expenses.
“It’s a beautiful place where you can bring your kids into it,” he says, referring to ideas like side jobs, home-based businesses, gardening, or even a business.
She adds that involving older children in these discussions can help them build valuable life skills and help them find solutions.
It is challenging to think of the worst case
Peters also points to a tendency for financial stress to escalate into worst-case scenarios.
“If you find yourself frustrated … it’s stopping that thinking and then challenging it,” he says.
Instead of assuming the worst, he encourages people to look for practical alternatives, such as payment plans or temporary solutions.
“It’s about challenging yourself and then grounding yourself in reality,” he adds.
Reaching out for support
For those who feel overwhelmed, Peters stresses the importance of seeking help.
“If you find you’re really struggling … reach out to other people,” she says.
She points to local resources such as the Steinbach Family Resource Center, churches, and professional counseling services as places where individuals can find support with financial and emotional well-being.
Peters also notes that financial anxiety can sometimes be rooted in past experiences, such as childhood poverty or instability, and may require deep reflection or professional support.
Extending grace in difficult times
Above all, Peters says it’s important for individuals and families to be patient with themselves as they navigate financial challenges.
“One thing I always want to remind people is to give yourself grace,” she says. “Be gentle with yourself, things will work out, they always do.”
– Written with user rempl files.
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